


Saathi Rey

by asmaanixx



Category: Ishq Mein Marjawan (TV)
Genre: F/M, Heavy Angst, Pregnancy, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:34:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29954835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asmaanixx/pseuds/asmaanixx
Summary: After leaving a letter confessing her truth, Riddhima knew there was a high chance Vansh wouldn't forgive her so easily. However, when she came to learn of her pregnancy she had hoped matters would be different.Alas, motherhood is a journey she must embark on by herself.
Relationships: Riddhima/Vansh Raisinghania
Kudos: 3





	Saathi Rey

Loud thunder clapped, and lightning struck through the sky. A heavy downpour burst through the open window, unannounced.

Riddhima ran towards the window, and tried to close it shut. It was difficult. Apart from the rain, a heavy wind had picked up as well.

It was a storm alright, and Riddhima knew the kind of destruction that was awaiting on the other side.

With the windows finally latched shut, she ran a hand over her face to wipe off the raindrops. She reached for her previously abandoned night clothes, and headed to the bathroom to change.

Stripped naked, her eyes landed on Vansh’s kurta that was hanging from the back of the door. A sharp ache tugged at her heart. She eyed her clothes. She abandoned them again, favoring Vansh’s kurta for her nightwear instead.

She had expected it to be long on her, but she hadn’t realized it would practically work as a dress for her. The sleeves ran longer than her arms, and the hem stopped just above her knees.

Innocent, yet alluring.

Not that anyone was there to notice.

Riddhima got into bed, turned off the lights, and stared at the empty space beside her.

Vansh had been gone on a business trip for a whole day now. Just a little over twenty-four hours, yet it had been enough to make her feel as if it were an eternity. During the day she was able to occupy her time doing frivolous things. Do the morning prayers with Daadi, make various meals for the day, or help Sia with her physiotherapy.

But the night? She couldn’t quite crack how to spend those without Vansh just yet.

Silence hung in the room as Riddhima thought about that.

It has been merely two months since she got married to Vansh. Two months ago, she couldn’t have even imagined spending the rest of her life with someone other than Kabir. Then again, two months ago she wouldn’t have been put into numerous life threatening situations either.

What did she even get out of this marriage?

A sister-in-law who spared no expense to pass taunts on her being middle class. A brother-in-law who tried to sexually harass her every chance he got. A mother-in-law who for some reason, had recently developed a personal vendetta against her.

It was starting to seem like no matter what corner she turned, Death was awaiting her.

She pulled the red, square pillow closer to herself.

_ Agar mein tumhare saath hoon toh duniya ki koi problem tumhe chu toh kya, tumhare aas paas bhi ni aayegi. Kuch nahi hoga tumhe. _

Two sentences, and she had taken her leap of faith. Had sealed it with a kiss, bared herself naked, and entrusted every fibre of her being over to Vansh. And he had done exactly what he promised. He took care of her. Chased away all her fears, and given her a night of passion, joy, and pleasure instead.

She knew that he couldn’t be by her side every single second of his life. But she couldn’t help but notice how in some ways he had failed his promise. He couldn’t stop her from being trapped in a room full of heated coals. He couldn’t stop her from almost dying from the poisonous gas that was created in the heated room. Hell, he couldn’t even protect himself from being poisoned.

She knew it wasn’t his fault. As much as he believed he was, Vansh wasn’t actually omniscient. He was human, and he was bound to err at some point or another. But did it have to be at the cost of her life?

No , her heart quickened at the thought.

She turned around to lay on the other side. She focused on the rain pattering against the window.

Vansh wouldn’t let her die. He just wouldn’t.

But Vansh wasn’t here. And those who did want her dead, were numerous and they were right there, on the other side of the door.

Riddhima’s eyes drifted towards the said object. She breathed heavily.

Did she remember to lock it?

Her heart skipped a beat.

Was someone out there right now? Was it Vansh?

The thought of him returning early made her sit up. She scurried towards the door, opened it with great force, and saw no one. She took a single step outside, looked either way, and again saw nothing.

Thunder clapped once more, and the lightning illuminated strange shadows against the wall.

Riddhima stepped back into her room, and this time made sure to lock the door.

She snuggled back under the blankets. She trembled when the thunder clapped loudly again.

What if she died before Vansh came back? Would he even bother to find out what happened to her, or dismiss her like he did with Mrs. D’Souza? Would he even miss her? Cry, or feel sad for her?

Riddhima’s eyes watered. She hugged the pillow tighter again.

What if he didn’t? What if he just moved on? Would he find someone else?

Of course he would. He was young after all. Incredibly intelligent. Sexy, attractive, warm, kind, lovable. She chuckled. Not to mention flirtatious too. Any woman would consider herself lucky to be at the center of his attention.

If only she had met him under different circumstances. A time before she met Kabir. Before she had her own experience with love.

Shame overcame her.

Kabir. Hadn’t she loved him once? There was a time when butterflies would flutter within her at the mere mention of his name. Now? She would be terrified to the bone. From the most beautiful truth of her life, he had transformed into a dirty little secret that she wished to take to the grave. But she couldn’t do that. No, she had to drag him out in the open, and put him before Vansh.

She shivered.

She didn’t know what she was more terrified of: Kabir being hurt, or Vansh.

_ Mein tumhe ek baari ke liye apna khoon maaf kar sakta hoon. Lekin mere bharose ka khoon maaf ni hoga. _

Riddhima sat up once more. 

She clutched her chest. She gripped the bedsheets, and squeezed her eyes shut. Her heart mimicked the speed of the rain hitting against the window. It was fast. Way too fast.

She looked around the room for someone. Something.  Anything . But there was nothing. It was just her all alone. As it should be.

As she should be.

She took in deep breaths to calm herself.

Turning on the lamp, she walked over to Vansh’s writing desk. She opened the bottom drawer where he kept the extra supplies. Taking out a notepad, and a pen, she closed the drawer. She was walking back to the bed, when she was reminded of Vansh’s eighth vow.

She retraced her steps to the cupboard. It creaked open. She reached into the back, and carefully picked up the heavy, ornate box.

Riddhima took her place back on the bed, and put the box beside her, where Vansh should be.

The box had been her first gift from Vansh after their marriage. Of course, she had been in no mood to hear his words out then, but tonight, they carried a lot more weight.

There were two components to the box. One held a vintage bronze gun, the other a single golden rose.

On Vansh’s behest, she had opened the box, and saw the gun. Fitting, considering why she had married him. Lies, deceit, and suspicions. It was all she had been able to see whenever she laid eyes on Vansh. The only thoughts that consumed her were of entrapping him. Finding crucial pieces of evidence that will finally send him behind bars, and her, free.

He had told her to open the bottom section as well. But she had refused. He did it for her, and revealed the rose that had been waiting for her. That still continues to wait for her.

Riddhima looked at the box, and thought of how it was a perfect encapsulation of Vansh. Lethal, and dangerous undoubtedly. But amongst all the blood shed, thorns pricked, and fallen bullets, there was a single blooming rose. And if a rose is able to grow amidst all that carnage, then why can’t love?

She opened the bottom section of the box, and picked up the golden rose. She held it delicately, afraid that a single harsh move by her would break it. She placed it against her chest, and thought of Vansh.

If only he were here right now. She didn’t expect him to comfort her upon finding out the truth. Rather, she expected his fury, even though the thought of his beautiful eyes showing anything but love for her terrified her.

She glanced at the empty notepad. She supposed she should be thankful for the small mercies.

Putting the rose on top of the box, she remembered the gun that was resting just underneath.

Silence hung heavy in the room. Thunder continued to boom in the far distant, and the rain hit against the window panes.

Riddhima opened the top lid, and saw the gun nested in its slot. She carefully pried it out. It sat heavy in her hands.

_ Agar galti se bhi mujhe dhoka dene ki jurat kar betho, toh isse pehle ki mujhe pata lage, apne aap ko isse khatam kar dena. _

She closed the lid, and placed the gun, and rose in the same way Vansh had when he had first introduced the items.

Like the day of her marriage, Riddhima had two options before her: guns, and roses.

Riddhima clicked the pen, and began writing her letter.

_ Dear Vansh, _

__

_ Jis din hamari shaadi hui thi, tumne ek sawal pucha tha: agar itni hi problem thi shaadi se, toh mandap se bhaag kyun ni gayi? Mauka tha. Phir bhi laut aayi. _

_ Hawa mein teer maar re the tum, but not surprisingly, tumhara har teer teekh nishane par laga. Ek khas waja se wapas aayi thi. Ek mission par thi. Tumhe jail bhejne ki. _

_ Vansh, tumhari zindagi mein aane se pehle, meine kissi aur ko atoot pyaar kiya tha. Kabir se. _

_ Haan, wahi, Inspector Kabir. Jo tumhare haath dho kar peeche para hua hai. Jab meine usse pyaar kiya tha, mujhe pata ni tha ki woh ek police officer hai. He introduced himself as a gym teacher, aur mein pagal, uski baaton par yakeen kar liya. Kaise na karti? Usne kabhi shaq karne ka mauka hi nahi diya. Phir jab usne bataya ki woh ek police officer hai, itna bura bhi ni laga. After all, woh desh ki raksha kar raha tha. Toh kar liya meine iss jhoot ko maaf. _

_ Shayad yeh meri pehli galti thi. _

_ Doosri galti toh meine tab ki, when I agreed to become a spy for him. Na koi training, na koi protection. Bas chal par ri uske kehne pe. _

_ Phir tum mile Vansh. Aur har mod par tum mujh par shaq karte rahe. Sahi tha. Jayaz tha. Tum mauke par mauke dete rahe, aur mein dhoke par dhoke. Ruk jaana chahiye tha, par nahi ruki. Pyaar jo kiya tha meine. Aur uss pyaar mein, mein iss kadar doob gayi thi ki sahi galat ka kuch samaj hi nayi tha. Bas mujhe yeh pata tha ki mere aur Kabir ke pyaar mein tum khare the. Agar tum hat gaye, toh mujhe jannat mil jaati. _

_ Hamari shaadi wale din mein bhagne wali thi. Bas kadmo ki doori par thi meri azaadi. Phir Kabir ne apne sar par bandook rakh li, aur baith gayi mein mandap par. Shaadi ki thi shera ko dhund ne. Aur kismat dekho, tumne khud shera ka tukda mere haath mein thama diya. _

_ Ragini ke peeche bhi mein Kabir ke kehne par lagi thi. Saboot chahiye tha usse tumhare qaatil hone ka. Dhund thi rahi. Sawal karti rahi. Kuch ni mila. _

_ Phir tumhare liye goli khayi. Aur kuch badal sa gaya tha. Meine tumse kaha ki agar tumhari jaga koi aur hota, tab bhi mein wahi karti. But I’m not so sure. Shayad karti, shayad nayi. Par sach toh yeh hai ki meine tumhare naam ki goli khud par le li. Darr lagta tha mujhe tumse Vansh. Kabhi kabhi nafrat bhi karti thi. Kayi baar gussa bhi aata tha tum par. Phir bhi, jo khatra tum par aane wala tha, meine apne sar le liya. _

_ Uss din ke baad, woh nafrat, woh darr, woh gussa, sab pighalne se lage the. Shayad kyunki tum bhi thode badalne se lage the. Tumne kaha thi ki mera kyal rakhna tumhari zimedaari hai. Shayad hogi. Shayad tumne jo kuch bhi kiya sirf zimedaari samaj kar hi kiya tha. Par shayad inn sab ke beech kuch aur bhi tha. Or maybe not. Maybe it’s just my wishful thinking. _

_ Vansh, tum toh already jaante ho ki mein anaath hoon. Rishte kaise hote hai woh mujhe doosro ko dekh kar seekh na para. Na koi maa hai, na koi baap. Daada, daadi, nana, nani, chacha, chachi - koi nahi. Agar koi tha toh bas kuch anjaan log jinhe mein kabhi kabhi apna dost bula leti thi. Par pyaar? Uske kayi roop se bekhabar thi. Phir Kabir aaya. Kaafi cheezein meine pehli baar mehsoos ki. Aur jo bhi feelings aati rahi, mein usse pyaar ka naam deti rahi. _

_ Phir tumhare liye feelings jaagi, aur mujhe kuch samajh nahi aaraha tha. Jin feelings ko meine pyaar ka naam diya, waisi feelings toh bilkul bhi ni thi. Whatever I felt for Kabir, woh sab halka halka sa lagne laga tha. And for you, with you - everything was intense, all-consuming. Pata nahi kab, aur kaise hua. Maybe it was while watching you get dressed every morning. Your two spritz of cologne, your slightly squinting eyes as you perfected your hair, or you wearing outrageously patterned socks while the rest of your attire was so proper, and pristine. Or maybe it was in the way you would make sure that we spent at least a few minutes together before we retired for the night. Quietly eat dinner, share some small talk, or simply sit in silence while I read, and you worked on some business matters. Or maybe it was the night I loved you. Or rather, made love with you. Sounds cheesy I know, but to call it just sex makes it sound so cold, so distant. I don’t know what that night meant for you Vansh. Maybe it was just sex, but mere liye nayi tha. Meine uss raat tumhe sab kuch de diya tha. All my flaws, vulnerabilities, insecurities. Saath saath woh saare sapne jinko bune ki meine jurat ki.  _

_ Shayad ussi jurat ki mujhe ab saza mil rahi hai. _

_ Vansh, tumne mujhse kaha tha ki agar meine galti se bhi tumhe dhoka dene ki jurat ki, toh isse pehle tumhe kuch pata chale, mujhe khud ko maar dena chahiye. _

_ Samaj lo wahi kar ri hoon. _

_ Tumhe aur dard mein nahi dekh sakti Vansh. Aur yeh jaana ki tumhare iss dard ke peeche mein hoon? Mein aise jee ni sakti. Hum dono tinka tinka marte rahe se better hai ki hum door reh ke thoda sa jee le. Pata ni kaisi zindagi hogi. But tumhare liye bas yehi dua rahegi ki tum sada khush raho. Agar koi bhi musibat aaye, woh pehle mujh par aa jaye, aur tum bekabar hokar jeete raho. _

_ Dekho na Vansh. Jab baatein karni chahiye thi, tab ki nayi. Aur ab bas bolte jaa ri hoon. Shayad mujhe ab ruk jaane chahiye. _

_ Apna kyal rakhna. _

__

_ Tumhari, _

_ Riddhima _

The pen fell from her hand.

Something cracked in Riddhima. She fell over to the side, and curled into a fetal position. Bringing her knees to her chest, she cried, and cried. Then, she cried some more.

There was no bigger fool on this planet than her. She knew there would be pain, and suffering for her on the other end, but she still kept at it. So why cry now?

No amount of reasoning was able to help her out Her heart, and soul ached to be with Vansh but she knew it simply was not possible. There were too many cracks in their relationship, and no amount of sweet talks would be able to mend them. Her going away is the best option, not just for her sanity, but for her survival too.

Hastily wiping her tears, she got up. She folded up her letter, and carefully tucked it into the bottom section of the box. With the golden rose atop it, she silently stared at it for a few moments.

She glanced down at her mangalsutra. A teardrop fell on it. She always thought women were the ones who put a lot of value in such symbols. But like always, Vansh surprised her.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and took it off. It slipped, and nestled into her palm. She tucked the mangalsutra beside the golden rose.

“I’m so sorry Vansh.” Her voice cracked, as she clicked the drawer shut.

Picking up the gun, she eyed it for a moment, before she put it back as well. She placed the ring Vansh had given her beside it.

Inhaling a deep, shaky breath, she wiped her cheeks. She had to act on whatever little courage she had gathered, or she would break apart again.

Hopping off the bed, she grabbed the box, and tucked it back into the deep recess of the cupboard she had gotten it from. She moved some clothes in front of it to better shield it.

Grabbing a pair of jeans, she hurriedly put them on, tucking the hem of the kurta into it. Her hair up in a tight ponytail, she searched for her essential identification cards. Finding them, and making sure they were indeed hers, she stuffed them in her jeans’ pocket.

There was no need for her to take anything else. She had already taken far too much.

Riddhima doesn’t know if it was the raging storm outside that provided her the perfect cover, but she was able to slip out of the mansion without being seen.

As she traveled down the road, she found it funny how once upon a time this very path would have meant liberation for her. Tonight, it was anything but.


End file.
